Tuesday, January 06, 2004

I’m feeling very unbloggy today. In fact I’m feeling all round miserable and uncommunicative and negative. Feel ill. Only another 6½ hours to go. I’m never going to make it.

I’m having a problem with black cabs. OK so they’re overpriced and still never there when you want one, but at least they know where they’re going, right? Right?? Hah!

Gosh I’m crabby today. Was pissed off by a huge poster outside FP tube station paid for by the LTDA (they don’t even have a website which says it all really) depicting a group of rickshaws hugely emblazoned with the words : “Don’t Licence – BAN”. Which got me thinking. Obviously black cabs hate rickshaws because they are ‘stealing our custom’. Well woo-hoo. I wouldn’t have thought the Daily Express reading hordes of Chingford would actually have anything to fear from a bunch of workshy dope smoking hippy slackers in cycling shorts, but apparently I am mistaken. Which leads me to think which fares exactly are being stolen? The only ones I can think of are the people who want to go from Wardour Street to Berwick Street or from Covent Garden to Leicester Square. ie tourists who are unaware that these locations are less than 1 minute apart. So well done London cabbies – nice of you to get on your high horse about defending your God given right to rip off visitors to London who don’t know any better. I’m sure it’s extremely lucrative – what with the flat fare start it’s money for nothing in fact; no wonder you don’t want to lose that market.

Gosh I really am crabby. And I also used the phrase “high horse”. It’s what everyone’s saying on the battlefield this season. And also please don’t take this blog as an endorsement of the rickshaw (soooorrryy ‘trishaw) brigade either. Clogging up the streets with your ridiculous contraptions. The only time a real Londoner would be seen dead in one of your buttock facing love seats would be if they were, well, dead. Except that wouldn’t work either because there are no morgues in W1 – the nearest is UCH which is WC1 – off your patch, innit mate??

Apologies. I spent the whole night from 12.30 till 7.30 reading political commentary on the Bush government. As a result of which my head is now inflamed with violent hatred and my teeth have been ground down to the level of pennies. I just couldn’t stop. I know it’s pointless and can only reduce all right thinking people to a state of apoplectic impotence but sometimes these things just happen. I need to go home and lie down in a darkened room.

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