Tuesday, November 04, 2003

I’ve been thinking about blogs and bloggers in general and the state of their minds in particular, and comparing what I think with what I read on people’s blogs. And basically it comes down to this:- Good bloggers; and I don’t just mean people who post often, but people who post well; tend to be pretty mixed up and/or unhappy people. I’m not saying that we’re all one sandwich short of a picnic, but I think there might be more than a grain of truth in the proposition that bloggers are basically a bunch of miserable bastards. You don’t, after all, read many blogs where the owner talks about her successful stress free job, wonderful partner and the beautiful, clean and crime free environment they live in. Which is good cos I for one wouldn’t want to read a load of shit like that. Still I am reminded of what Alain de Botton? had to say about people who write their autobiographies – that there is something slightly psychopathic about their obvious craving for more love – and I think it’s also true for bloggers.

Trust me – read the blogs – read as many as you can and revel in their bitter outpourings of bile and despair. It’s not voyeuristic – you’re helping us by listening to our demented ramblings. Then suddenly, sooner or later one of those bloggers whose daily struggle with existence you have been following will find that delicious person and all is beautiful, birds sing, flowers bloom and the quality of that person’s blog is in the toilet. Boooooring. Posts which used to be thrice daily dry up to one every two weeks and even then the post will either be an interminable exhortation on the loveliness of the OoD (Object of Desire) or an incomprehensible reference to a shared experience : “ Susie mailed me a picture of a t-rex eating a 2CV. She is *so* sweet.”

And then, and then and then (sometimes you can see it coming sometimes it’s a bolt from on-high) suddenly the whole thing comes undone. The blogger is inconsolate with despair, the OoD is either a lost angel or a wanker of the first order and it’s all over for ever and ever.

Well Hurrah! We’re back to 3 a day diatribes against the meaninglessness of existence, bleak little 3.25 am ramblings about loneliness and the bottle and wildly meandering vicious asides aimed at all the horrible celebrities endlessly parading their sordid little financially motivated romances through the pages of the supermarket weeklies.

Let’s face it –good bloggers are lonely embittered people whose only assets are their giant brains brimming with venom for their more intellectually retarded but emotionally successful contemporaries. To bastardise Tolstoy : “Bad bloggers are all alike but good bloggers are each good in their own unique way.”

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