Monday, November 10, 2003

I feel depressed. Not big news I know, but I feel more depressed than normal – and I’m not sure why. Obviously all the usual reasons are still there, but they haven’t changed so it must be something new.

Possibilities :-

1) Chemical residue from the weekend.
2) I have to go away soon.
3) Shazza got engaged.
4) Uemployment looms again.
5) Impending birthday.
6) Impending Christmas. NO!

The ones that I give credence to are 1, 2, and 6. Maybe a touch of 4, although that doesn’t really count – it’s merely an adjunct to long term depression about shit job prospects and ultimate retiree poverty. Should I ever get that far.

It’s a good question actually. How can I be both

a) depressed about the prospect of a poverty riddled old age. At my current rate I won’t even be able to afford the 'Hove Home for Retired Gentlefolk and the Terminally Short of Cash' let alone spend my Autumn Years doing anything more than what amounts to competitive 'Who can sit in their chair contemplating the grave the longest' ; whilst

b) being simultaneously convinced that if my Body is a Temple it must be a temple used by some extremely disrespectful Satãn Wörshippers, and it can’t possibly go on much longer.

Logical impossibilities eh? No problemo for the dedicated miserable bastard. BTW in case you couldn’t work it out, impending death due to some sort of terminal horror disease counts as a long term depressant, and therefore not eligible for inclusion in the above list. Oh I just though of a new one:

7) No-one ever answers my fucking e-mails.

But maybe that’s more of a long term/lifestyle thing. What d’you say?

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