Tempted as I am to expound at length on Janet-Jackson-Justin-Timberlake-Boob- ExposureGate drivel-athon I’m not going to because JJ and her nipple cover are not on my list. In the great scheme of things this is just . . . nothing. It’s beyond incomprehensible why anyone is getting so uptight about this.

Halliburton is systematically enslaving the people of the Middle East and stealing from US taxpayers! Who Cares! The US deficit is the largest in history and about to get bigger! You’re boring me! Janet Jackson exposes a breast without even showing her nipple - Holy Fucking SHIT – my life is over, civilization is doomed! Kill the kids – their brains are tainted with filth and they must die immediately!

Of all the things in the world to get in a tizzy about this has to be about the least important, surely. Get a grip guys – people (well the BBC actually) are starting to notice that when you go off on one you look a bit nutty. After all, this comes from a country with a porn industry bigger than some countries GDP. [ Actually having just done a little research on this the figures are pretty hard to pin down with estimates for porn revenues at up to $14bn. I think a more reasonable figure puts annual US porn industry revenue somewhere about the $4bn mark and it could be considerably less. Either way that's a lot of money to spend on jerking off – if the US porn industry was a sovereign nation it would rank (according to the CIA) at no 160 out of 237 in terms of GDP (2001 figures). ]

This knee jerk 'I'm so outraged' reaction is homologous to a child sitting at the back of the classroom sniggering because teacher used the word 'uterus'. While this is to be expected, if somewhat tedious, in a 7 year old, if a kid is still doing it by the time they're 14 it’s just pathetic. Quite what one should make of a 221 year old nation and only world superpower doing the same is something of a quandary . . .


Alright, alright, I said at length OK?