Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Victor, nettoyeur

Is it wrong to oppose the continued expansion of the European Union on the grounds that I might end up having to clean my own flat one day. My current cleaner is called Anna and comes from Estonia. She’s very tall and beautiful and both speaks and writes English perfectly. So why is she cleaning my flat - God only knows, but now that the Baltics have joined the EU it surely can’t go on for long.

Actually she took over from her sister who had to go back home on account of how she couldn’t stand living in London a second longer. Which I suppose is fair enough. If I was stuck living in a hovel somewhere cleaning other people’s flats at £20 a throw I wouldn’t like it much either.

Before that I had a very interesting lady from South Africa. She used to drink a bottle of red wine every time she came, and she normally turned up in the morning. I didn’t mind, she brought her own. Eventually she had do stop as she completely fucked up her tendons on some broken glass (fortunately not at my place). I still see her in the pub occasionally.

Years and years ago I used to have a Spanish cleaner, but I think she just liked it. She wore really strange brightly coloured PVC clothes, was very tanned and wrinkled and had lots of gold teeth. She was the best cleaner you could ever imagine and used over 2 liters of bleach every single week. Can’t imagine what she did with the stuff, but it certainly made the flat smell clean.

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