Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Two little words

2 words I'd be happy to never hear again : Star Wars

When the original came out I loved it. I was eight. I really liked the Empire Strikes Back too, but even I could tell that Revenge of the Jedi was, not to put too fine a point on it, a bit wank.

Fast forward X years and we come to Episode I. Guys - here is the definitive definition. Everything that was cack about Revenge had been magnified to fill the movie and everything that was good about IV had been completely replaced with entire segments that were clearly only in the movie so as to provide an element for the video game.

I still don't know what happened in episode I. I've tried to see it twice and fell asleep in the first 20 minutes both times. Nuff said - that was the end for me and Mr Lucas and the marketing franchise from a galaxy far far away.

Somehow I ended up seeing II as well, but again couldn't tell you the slightest thing about it. Not even the presence of Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor could stop me falling asleep again. Were they in I as well??? Actually I fell asleep in Spiderman & Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy too, and I like sci-fi movies. Imagine if you didn't?? You might not emerge alive at all . . .

Anyway, nothing on this Earth will get me into the Sith thingy. For the record if anyone asks you about Star Wars, to avoid wasting one more precious second on this bunkum, memorize and repeat :-

Star Wars was once great. But now it's shit and everyone associated with it should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

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