Thursday, May 26, 2005

I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.

Only too true unfortunately, nothing seems to be working for me at the moment. Can’t get out of bed. At all. yesterday spent approximately 18 out of the 24 hours asleep. Haven’t really eaten or dunk anything either - not hungry, not thirsty. Did drink a cup of tea about 3.30 this morning. Milk a bit off, but who cares - skim lumps out with tea strainer.

Actually lucky about the sleep - waking hours were pretty much ruled out due to incredible throbbing head. Bad. Second (near) migraine in 6 weeks - not like me at all - probably lack of exercise, terrible diet, impossibly irregular sleep patterns etc.

In fact the only constant about my sleeping is that i am awake to see the dawn every single goddam day. It’s starting to get to me. Don’t want to talk to anyone, am avoiding flatmates, turned my phone off. Worried about last weekend - possible might have finally done something I’m not going to walk away from.

And supposed to be having a bbq at the weekend.

Bills piling up, can’t pay them. Have the money, money no problem, just can’t seem to make the phone calls . . . bailiffs arriving soon. Don’t care. Sleep beckons. Yes.

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