Monday, April 18, 2005

Back in the Jug Agane . . .

Arse, bugger, fuck.

Got canned again on Friday.

Or if not canned then told that the project was now so far behind on the technical front 9not my bit) that unless something miraculous happened in the next month the whole thing was going to be pulled and I was for the chop. Hence Pan off to the shredder, yet again. Third time in 14 months. To be honest I’m getting quite used to it.

As ever the exact reasons for what has gone wrong are hard to pin down . . . oh, yeah, no, they’re not hard to pin down . . . it’s because certain people in the IT department have simply failed to perform the actions required of them to make the project happen. It’s a mystery to me, but there’s one person who I can definitely put my finger on : IT ‘guru’ (shaved head, black shirt, bullying aggressive manner, grotesquely overweight, stream of consciousness geek speak bullshit) – you know the type – who has particularly failed to perform. Spend £300K on an unnecessarily complicated solution and then do *Absolutely Nothing* with it for 4 months, refuse all access to other departments so that eventually everything gets cancelled because the technical units to make things happen are simply non-existent and there are no plans to make them existent. Do you get into trouble for this? Does anyone call you a fat incompetent cunt and fire your lardy ass immediately? Or do you in fact get promoted while the only person in your team who actually performs the tasks she’s supposed to gets made redundant?

Anyone who’s ever worked in a corporate before should have no trouble picking out which of the two options is the case. So because this repellent sack of shit is incapable of performing the tasks required of him adequately (or at all for that matter) Pan is being shipped back to the Gulags. AGAIN.

I should have filed a complaint against the shitwit months ago when I had the chance . . . still you live and learn, and this is what I learnt : If someone makes a threat of physical violence against you in a meeting, don’t let it slide. Have them booted out. It may seem harsh but it’s the only way – anyone who’s so out of control and so stupid as to do something like that in front of witnesses is obviously a thundering muttfuck and will end up buggering up your project in the end one way or another. It’s not a slip or a mistake, it’s a sign that under the covers lies the soul of a disintegrating psycho with no more idea of responsibility and commitment than an overly caffeinated baboon sitting in a bathtub full of cocaine.

But that’s enough ranting. It’s just one of the unwritten laws of the workplace – idiots get promoted and people who actually know what they’re on about get fired. You’d think companies would go to the wall on a regular basis because of this, but of course it’s not true – if everyone is doing the same ridiculous things the playing field remains level. Of course the company that did in fact somehow learn to identify and reward the good guys whilst simultaneously spotting and firing the butt monkeys would instantly become the champion of the world. Ho hum . . .

Things after all could be worse. For example :-

Berlin 1945

I could be in the F├╝hrerbunker instead. Now there’s somewhere that wasn’t very jolly. As you might have guessed I went to see Downfall http://books.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,12084,1440227,00.html at the weekend, and very powerful it is too. It’s strange how you can almost feel sympathy for these monsters, trapped in their bolthole with the Russians closing in and the realisation that there was simply no way out. What’s interesting is that for some of them there is the fear of what the allies (for which read the Russians) are going to do with them, but for others their personal danger was secondary – their horror was that National Socialism would no longer exist after they were dead. Strange stuff indeed. Creepy.

And I’d never been to the Screen on Baker Street before. Like all Screens they understand something about going to the cinema that UCI & Odeon etc never will – if you see a kack movie you hold it against the cinema as well as the makers. After all they’re the ones who chose to put this drivel on in the first place. So screen cinemas usually very good. The Screen on Baker Street is, to be fair, a bit on the wee side – in fact it’s a midget. But perfectly formed. And they always have a decent selection of junk to but outside, including BOOZE. It’s like a time warp, but a good one.

Islington

There’s nothing I can say which can adequately describe my hatred of Islington council. What’s wrong with them? Why are they such fascists? Why do their threatening letters arrive 2 weeks after they’re dated, or never at all? Why am I so incompetent that I’m always in a mess over the council tax. Aaaarrgggggghhh! Feeling a but stressed to be frank.

Election.

Who gives a rat’s ass. Let me say that again. Who gives a rat’s ass. Because let’s be honest here – there are 2 choices. Labour Traitor Scum or Evil Tory Leeches. For all people bang on about it, voting Small Orange isn’t going to help, and as for those other deluded souls Respect and The Greens, well, they can stand all they like, vote for them if you want to, but they’re still never going to win a single seat, let alone anything else. With regard to UKIP, Veritas and the remainder imbecilica knee jerk tidemark scum, if you’re thinking of voting for any of them then your head should have exploded by now. If not, just keep reading it will, and about time too.

So, realistically it’s down to red muck or blue muck. Decisions decisions. Basically here’s my problem : The Labour party have betrayed everything they stood for, and have betrayed the British people. They wilfully attacked the BBC, an institution with more value and moral fibre in Radio Shetland than in the whole of Westminster for purely personal short term gain, they’ve got us involved in a ridiculous war causing untold deaths, pretty much condemning Iraq to civil war and government by religious nutbags (Sadaam Hussein = bad, so who cares if 20 million women will be locked up in their houses forever) and world hatred for Britain, they’ve overseen the chavification of Britain on an untold scale, and their idea about security cards is so backward and blatantly a power grabbing totalitarian act I’m surprised we aren’t just all laughing in their faces, and yet, and yet, and yet. There’s just one problem. It’s the Tories for flips sake.!!! I spent 18 years with them in charge. NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN. They’re just disgusting – beyond arrogant, beyond stupid, beyond everything even reminiscent of moral or decent or even human. And now the chief demon in the coven is in charge. There is just no way anyone who isn’t a galloping nazi could even think about voting for these . . . these . . . these . . . words fail me. How could you? Anyone who remembers they slime strewn reign of terror could surely only ever want to smash every single Tory MP in the face until their teeth come out of the back of their heads rather than vote for them? And Tony’s no better. Traitor!

Oh God, I’m going to have to vote Small Orange – there’s simply no other option. Well, actually, I do have an out – my MP is the never so lovely, but not actually a weasel spined snivel crow like most of them but the wonderfully unreconstructed Jeremy Corbyn. Jeremy is of course somewhat deranged, I’m sure in his mind it’s only a matter of time before Militant Tendency is readmitted to the Labour Party, but at least he didn’t vote for the bloody war, at least he’s on Tony’s top ten most hated MPs list. At least he’s not a backstabbing traitor. What to do. Not that it really matters. Tony’s getting back in and there’s simply nothing any of us can do about it. And the terrible thing is that no matter how dreadful they are, the opposition is even worse. AArrrrrrggghhhh.

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