Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Some people really don’t have enough to do. Imagine spending this much time creating a web page for a 1970’s board game about the supernatural. Can you guess what it is? I can’t even believe I’ve spent the time to create a link to it. Weird, huh?

Went to see this exhibition (Encounters) about Mummies earlier at the British Museum.

It was quite interesting (and a freebie) but what was most impressive was the 3d surround cinema technology. It’s really impressive, especially with the computer animation sections , because then there are no seams between the different projection footprints. Felt quite queasy zooming down the tunnels inside the pyramid, and actually had to stop myself from reaching out trying to touch things a couple of times. How old am I? Four??

Off on a team building away thingy tomorrow – horrors. Any event where they tell you in advance that the day will be co-ordinated by a ‘professional facilitator’ fills me with horror. Still – probably better than an unprofessional facilitator. That’d be me – the kind of facilitator who immediately forms favourites and pet hates from the group and favours / humiliates them appropriately. In the evening you could slip the graduate trainees too much booze and try to sleep with them and then have a bit of a weepy breakdown in the bar.

I’m laughing just thinking about it. If you’ve never been to works outing which dissolved into chaos you haven’t lived. I can remember one particular Christmas office outing to a Greek restaurant which I helped organize where I danced to The Birdie Song with The Big Boss, one of my colleagues started to break plates on his forehead requiring a quick trip to casualty for stitches and more than one person spent the entire evening in floods of tears. Happy Days! Ugh.

The Birdie Song is not, thank fuck, an international phenomenon. There are special ‘dance’ moves you have to do, and it’s just the last word in making a twat of yourself naff fucking awfulness. This will never become a post ironic ‘so out it’s cool club classic’. It will remain what it is: shit.

I include the full instructions for anyone wishing to travel to the UK for the purposes of committing social suicide anytime in the near future. Or possibly real suicide.

Birdie Dance (England) Music: Birdie Song ESP 001

No formation: Hands simulate bird chirping sound by opening and closing hands.

Hands under arms with elbows moving up and down simulating flapping or hands may be shoulder height with elbows bent, waving hands.

Body twisting to right and left simulating wiggling tail. Cheep with hands 3 times. Flap wings 3 times.

Repeat above for a total of 4 times.

Make a right hand star and turn with it for 8 steps, reverse with a left hand star with 8 steps.

Repeat this sequence again and go back to the beginning.

Holy shit.

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