The reason for being hungover yesterday was because I went for lasties with Phil at the pub and then drank a few beers at home afterwards. I’d kinda blanked it because I made an utter tit of myself in the boozer. I’d got there first but only had a fiver and a few coppers on me, so I needed to find out if I had enough for a round. Unfortunately I was being served by the barmaid who is just pointlessly, ridiculously good looking. The kind of person who you see and just can't stop wondering why she is here pulling pints in a pub in North London when she looks like she could be living in an underwater bunker beneath a pacific volcano lake plotting the destruction of the universe. Alas my brain instantly flipped into panic gabble mode:

ME : A pint of Litovel please

HER : There you go. £2.70 please

ME : And how much is a pint of Pride?

HER : Her £2.40

ME : So how much is that together?

HER That’d be £5.10

ME : OK, a pint of Pride as well, please, because, umm, I’ve only got a fiver and I just can’t add up two numbers in my head. Just can’t do it.

What??? Can’t add £2.70 and £2.40 together?? So basically I am now either an innumerate retard or a babbling dunderhead. As I have a degree in Astronomy I can only assume that babbling dunderhead is the correct diagnosis.