Another day another crackerjack lunch from the canteen. The salad bar had gone from surreal to uninspired to terminally boring in the last 3 months. I now look back with rose tinted spectacles to the days when they used to offer such exciting combos as 'spicy sausage & turnip' or 'chickpea with orange and anchovy'. Today's salad utilised the most exciting of the 'Hot New Choices for 2004' range : rice, sweetcorn, red onions, tomatos & chile oil. Dull.

To liven this up I treated myself to a cup of mulligatawney soup. Only problem is that I always forget how utterly disgusting mulligatawney really is. Seriously it's like drinking a cup of Vesta curry sauce except thinner with more pepper. Ack.

Anyone who isn't British / wasn't alive during the 70s will find our strange attraction / repulsion to the world of Vesta incomprehensible. Suffice it to say this flithy muck caused a veritable cuisine revolution circa 1972 without which the likes of Jamie, Nigella et al would be impossible despite being, basically, shit. Bad Vesta!