I was shocked how much I enjoyed watching Speed over Christmas. I mean, c’mon it’s Speed fer Chrisssakes. Actually what does come through loud and clear with the intervention of a few years is that it’s a pretty well written, paced and plotted action movie, and that Keanu is shit beyond all belief. Good at jumping on/off things and shooting guns, but there is not ONE line in that movie which comes out of his mouth without sounding like some half cocked self conscious gibberish bullshit.

But then there’s Bullock. Mmmmmm. In recent years I’d forgotten why I loved her so much but it brought it all rushing back – her cute little grey t-shirt and can-do chipmunk attitude. And her cute little bob. And all those teeth. She is the Girl Next Door of your dreams.

Creepily that rings a bell. Perhaps I am susceptible to GND syndrome generally, or maybe just women called Sandy. On New Year’s eve I disgusted The G Man by stating quite emphatically that I’d rather marry Sandy than Rizzo. What’s wrong with me?? What’s right with me more like.