OMG - I just went to the loo and someone has had a sneaky ciggie in there. Well, big hoo! you might say, but here it is a big hoo. Smoking is strictly verbotten anywhere in the compound. I was almost worried that security would burst in and accuse me of sparking up the contraband tab and I'd deny it and then they'd make me take a drug test and of course I'd be swimming in nicotine (having smoked most of a pack with last nights 6 pints) and then I'd be for it . . .

When I worked at the BBC one of the 7 automatic dismissal offences was having sex on BBC premises. Here it'd be the post coital cig that would get you the boot and I'm not kidding.

In fact just about the only person here who even knows I smoke is my cube mate Lisa. If she's having a total hell day she'll sometimes rush out to the car park, jump in her Subaru and drive around the 'hood smoking out of the window. She is supposed to have given up.

And I've just eaten a 3 cheese sandwich. Sushi for lunch tomorrow - health.

And now I've broken the 'Delete' key on my keyboard.