I’m bored of politics now. The more you think about it the more frustrated you feel and there’s NOTIHNG you can do about it. And don’t give me all that crap about getting involved at a grass roots level yadda yadda yadda – I don’t want to have to become leader of the free world myself, I want the leaders we already have to show a modicum of common sense, and a touch of humility might not go amiss either.

Anyway, more importantly I am now officially fat. Looking at some pics from Japan I seem to resemble nothing more than the storm trooper out of Raiders of the Lost Arc that Indy has the bare knuckle fight with who then gets salamied by a propeller.

OK – that’s a bit of an exaggeration - I still have some hair. And no suntan. I was kinda hoping I was suffering from some sort of body dismorphia but alas no. Anyway I’ll be posting pics after they’ve been suitably 'edited' via the medium of Photoshop ;-)

I don’t seem to be able to develop any kind of eating disorder either – today’s intake so far :-

5 x Oatmeal biscuits (no butter)
1 x Sausage & egg sandwich
3 x Coffee
1 x Lucozade
2 x Hot chocolate (unusual for me but I have a cold so need cosseting)
1 x Mixed salad (w/light dressing (naughty!))
1 x Cup of Mushroom Soup
1 x Apple
1 x Small Cadburys Milk Chocolate
1 x Cadbury’s Caramel

I know food eating disorders are serious, anorexia, bulimia, upchucking a chocolate cake and throwing yourself down the stairs - but couldn't I just develop some sort of disgust at the amounts of crap I seem to be quite happy consuming? Or even a cut off valve that somewhere about the 3000 calorie mark blows a gasket and it's game over foodwise for the rest of the day.

Alas I know this is but wishful thinking - if you want the body beautiful then eat less and exercise, and only self discipline will get you there. It must be easier if you're rich tho - basically you have nothing to do all day and then some hyperactice chipmunk comes round and bullies you through your workout in the comfort of your own home gym.

And actually scientific studies tend to indicate that attractiveness has more to do with self image than actual appearance, ie if you think you're an bit of a minger people will treat you like one, no matter how georgeous you really are. And vice versa I suppose, though this certainly wasn't the case with an old acquaintance and sometime flat sharer of mine, Fatty Blayburn. He thought he was God's Gift but absolutley everyone else saw him for what he was : A pig in a suit.

I actually saw Fatty about 5 years whilst out drinking with Jones. We spotted him heading our way and hid behind a barrell to avoid being seen. It can't have actually worked but he didn't come over and speak to us. Perhaps his feelings were hurt by our attempts at camoflauge. Oh hold on - who cares. This is after all (and I really am not making this up) a man who referred to all women regardless of age as 'Fishface'. YUK.

Fatty Blayburn - for it is he!