I went to Harlow this morning. In no way do I wish to denigrate Harlow, but . . . No - let me rephrase that. I do not wish to insult people who have had the bad luck to be born and brought up in Harlow or are forced through circumstances beyond their control to inhabit same, but, sadly, yes - I do wish to denigrate Harlow.

Maybe I just saw Harlow's bad side but it seems to consist of nothing but a series of soulless roundabouts, each and every one choked solid with white van man (and his van) endlesly swearing and revving his engine but going nowhere. And even when there is a gap no-one can get to it because there is a 30 ton artic trying to turn onto the A414 and completely blocking the ring-road turning and the M1 approach - oooh it make my blood boil etc etc.

Being the eco-pauper that I am I was not driving but travelling via Britain's beleagured rail network followed by a nice walk around the afore mentioned roundabouts.

If Pan walks for 1 hour 20 minutes around the outskirts of Harlow how many other pedestrians does he pass?

a) 4
b) 14
c) 40
d) None of the above.

Yes you're right - None of the above, which incidentally is exactly the same as the number of pedestrians I passed.

If however you chose to live in Harlow than frankly you have no-one to blame but yourslef.

Q. I wonder what a soulful roundabout would look like?