Pan is feeling better. Physically at any rate. Psychologically he is one sick puppy, but let's not get into that at all. Instead here are 10 movies I'd rather cut my own balls off than have to sit through but have every chance of being made eventually :-

1) Virginian Summer

6th grader Danny O'Conner is growing up on the sunbaked streets and dusty back yards of small town early 60's Virgina where nothing ever seems to happen. Along with his best buddy Kip they discover together the joys of skipping school, angling for catfish, and their secret passion - Stella Carter. Suddenly news of Danny's older brother serving in a faraway country no-one's ever heard of brings his world crashing down.

2) Mad dogs

Charlie Gleech has never put a foot wrong. His most successful rebellion so far has been in avoiding his Mother's attempts to get him married off. Working hapharzardly for the family firm from his Holland Park townhouse his life seems destined to settle into comfortable bachelordom. That is until 22 year old Suzi Galletta from Chicago turns up in London. It seems that Charlie's Grandfather promised half the family business to Suzi's grandfather for saving his life during WW2 and Suzi's come to make good on the deal. In no time at all Suzi's moved in and is making changes to Charlie's life and beloved company all over. Will Charlie regain his freedom? Romantic Comedy starring Orlando Bloom and Julia Stiles.

3) Blown Away in LA.

Dag Viper's screwed up with internal affairs just once too often. Now he has only the Labor day weekend to stop LA's notorious 'Steel Wheels' bank robbers before the Captain takes his badge back and his only clue is the sports cars they always use for getaways. They're are crazy, but he's crazier! Patrick Swayze and 50 Cent star in this hi-octane thriller.

4) My Secret Heart

Mel Gibson discovers unexpected yearnings in a touching coming of age movie. Co-starring David Hasselhoff.

5) Back 2 Black

Notorious bigot and neighbourhood pariah Vince Kropotkin is arrested for a racially motivated assault. Rather than send him to jail the judge sentences him to spend the next year blacked up. Just when Vince thinks he's got it licked, Cupid makes an unexpected arrival in the curvaceous form of radical civil rights lawyer Latisha Jackson. Can Vince carry it off or is he going to have to 'come clean'? Comedy starring Adam Sandler.

6) Derry Boys.

An idealistic teenager from rural county Leish is brutalised by his experiences moving to 1970's Londonderry.

7) New York - New York

4 young men graduate Yale in the class of 72' and move to the Big Apple to make their mark. Forced apart over the interveneing years they are unexpectedly brought back together 30 years later. Will they have achieved their dreams or will their reunion bring them each a surprise in one form or another? Complex interpersonal drama with an all star cast featuring Robin Williams, Bill Pullman, Jeff Bridges and Jeff Goldblum

8) The Red Delta

With only 72 hours till the start of the new offensive a critical and heavily defended hill is still untaken in Major Schneider's campaign. Field veteran Lieutenant Brady O'Michigan, Schneider's West Point contempory has just rotated in with a new platoon of raw recruits and Schneider is forced to make an unpalatable decision. Overcoming his personal issues he decides it wiser to send the unseasoned troops on this hopeless mission rather than lose experienced soldiers. Faced with an impossible task O'Michigan must obey his orders but cannot betray his men in the process. Vietnam bloodbath starring Kurt Russell.

9) Ball Game

Jay Batttersby is a big time hitter for the White Sox, and he likes to remind everyone around him just what a big shot he is. However when his season suddenly hits a slump and the team slides into a losing streak all his assurances in the world can't keep the coach off his back. With a new crop of college players threatening his pre-eminent position Jay has to dig deep into his past to find the teenage wonderkid that used to be - with the help of his old high school team mates, some of whom are distinctly less than impressed with what Jay has become! Don Johnson stars.

10) 172nd Street

Jimmy Palugia used to think his accountant Dad was the best in New York City. Every Saturday they'd go to watch the Yankees and afterwards have an ice-cream at his Uncle Seve's parlour. Returning from College in California Jimmy walks into a nightmare - his Brother Benito has been shot and killed. Swearing revenge on the hoodlums who killed him Jimmy drops out of college to find the perpetrators. However his investigations seem to keep leading in unpleasant directions - back to the uncles that surrounded his childhood, and to his own Father. Crime drama depicting one family's disintegration following the death of a son starring Robert Deniro, Matt Damon and Robert Downey Junior.

I guess what I really can't stand if the above is to be believed is nostalgia. But I knew that already. After all F. Scott Fitzgerald is one of my all time pet hates.