I think I might have worked out a solution to the 'Todd' conundrum (below). What the message was talking about was various metadata records some of which become detached from their owners. 'Todd' is looking to find someone (and let's face it it's going to be me) . . . wait for it . . . to get these records into shape and/or delete the irrelevant ones. These records are referred to as 'Orphan Records'.

I therefore posit that the 'Don't you love me' bit was 'Todd' pretending to roleplay one of the Orphan Records to guilt me into accepting this excruciatingly dull assignment.

OK - it's not the best explanation, but it's way better than any of the others. Anyone got any better ideas?