Wooo – so it’s finally goodbye from medieval land. Yes we finally got our electricity back at 11pm last night . Mind you there is now a colossal hole in the pavement right outside the front door, but at least now we’ll be able to find the iodine and bandages after we’ve fallen into it.

We think it’s possible the outage was caused by backed up kebab slurry, which really doesn’t bear thinking about – lucky we’re 4 storeys away so the only smell we ever get from them comes from the ventilation chimney, which if the wind is right gives off a charming aroma of stale fat.

I seem to have got my numbers wrong and have invited too many people round for dinner on Friday – 8 of them in fact. Not a problem except that I only have 6 plates and (more worryingly) 6 chairs. Perhaps someone can sit on a colossal pile of old telephone books and I’ll perch on the edge of the work surface. Haven’t got a clue what to cook yet either. Unfortunately Shazzer, as I recall, only eats chicken without spices which I don’t think I can bring myself to prepare – nothing wrong with a nice roast chicken but it’s not going to get my name in lights on the London Dinner Party scene. Compromise – I’ll cook something chicken like aka guinea fowl or partridge or whatever. But what about the rest of it? I seem to be completely out of inspiration.

Suggestions to the usual address please . . .