I just spent a fortune on ribbon and some cards. Now how logical is that. Medium. How Christian is that? Not very is the answer there I think.

So I’m all set. Perhaps this year I will make a big effort and ‘put on a happy face’. Or perhaps not. Jolly? Jolly? Just because my names Jolly doesn’t mean I have to be fucking jolly all the time does it? Ah if only – however I consider it extremely unlikely that my parent’s have a copy of Mr Jolly Lives Next Door, which I can strongly recommend to anyone in need of a good laugh.

OK – it’s a bit studenty but sometimes we need that. And also features more classic lines than you can shake a stick at.

However they do have a large collection of Luis Bunuel classics, though not I think my absolute all time favourite : That Obscure Object of Desire, partly because it features the sublime (almost unnatural) Carole Bouquet, and partly because it’s just such a funny movie. Strange, surreal, misanthropic yes, but above all hilarious.

Ach – I’m bored bored bored. Only another 1¼ hours to go and I’m outta here. But back on Weds X(

So have a good Christmas guys - Get drunk, take drugs, sleep with your partner’s siblings, fall asleep under the Christmas tree with your head in saucepan. Preferably whilst wearing a Santa hat that lights up and plays Jingle Bell Rock all through the long hours of your booze, vicadin and speed comedown coma. Now that's what I call festive family fun!