Neurotic

As part of my ongoing attempts to become slightly less repellent whilst at the same time boring the pants off of everyone I know I shall continue to record everything I consume on a daily basis. Once I’ve really started to irritate everyone including myself and begun to look a bit neurotic and need I’ll start including the calorific value of everything as well :-

2 x cup apple & peach mystery liquid
½ x bottle of Lucozade
½ x Chinese lettuce w/dressing (ginger, garlic, chile, sesame oil, olive oil, lime juice, sherry vinegar)
1 x handful pumpkin seeds
2 x small chicken thighs
2 x slices haloumi cheese
½ x can palm hearts
2 x gin & tonic
1 x can of lager
1 x medium bowl of salad – grated carrot, curried rice, chick peas, kidney beans, lentils, dressing 1 x cadbury flake
1 x large coffee
1 x rennie
1 x strepsil

Loo

I’m beginning to feel like Regina out of Mean Girls who thinks she’s eating Swedish diet bars when she’s been tricked into eating Swedish weight-gain bars. Somewhere in the list above is some high gain lard fud masquerading as calorie-less cardboard filler. On the plus side I’ve been eating a lot of pulses lately so my trips to the loo have been both frequent and productive. I’m up to 2 a day!

Pills

You know what sounds good? Diet pills. Bring on the whizz is what I say – gain without pain. Yeah – diet pills and laxatives – it’s your window to weight loss. Actually you know what sounds really kick ass for weight loss – TB.