And speaking of excessive drinking last the weekend just gone saw Pan deliver his (hopefully) one and only stag event.

As I’m sure I've mentioned before I hate stag dos and have jibbed out of the last 3 I was invited to, so inviting me to organise one is a bit like, well, a not particularly clever idea. However, there could really have been no other choice for as The Captain’s best man (hem hem) and it all goes with the territory, so organise boy I was. I immediately broke with tradition by inviting the ladies, but what can you do. Some people were so outraged that I had to compromise and make it 2 nights – Friday night for dinner in company and Saturday afternoon and evening just for the boys.

We all pitched up approximately on time (some more than others) at Captain Birdseye’s crispy Brisket on Norris Street and then proceeded over the road to QUOD where I had booked the red room for dinner. I’m not going to go into too much detail other than to make a couple of quick points :-

1) 3 people were sick, including the Panster. Hurrah. But I don’t think anyone noticed.

2) I stood on a chair and told the assembled audience (including several passing waiters) about mine and The Captain’s 4-in a bed romp.

3) Our waitress was very impressed with both the amount we drank (fairly impressive actually) and with our ‘antics’. I know this sounds like bullshit but it’s true! She specifically requested to be allowed to light the ‘mouth burners’. That by the way is where you take a big swig of Sambuca, close your mouth, swill it around, tilt your head back, breathe out hard and have someone (or even yourself) stick a lighter in your gob. With practice you can project lovely blue flames 6-8inches out of your mouth.

4) I was only sick because of the 5 pints of Guinness I had at the Captain’s Cabin. Yes.

5) The Fat Doctor made a really inappropriate lunge at El Espangola. It’s lucky she has a sense of humour. After we’d managed to get him off her he stood in the middle of the road (Haymarket) and refused to move. Betty & Numinor fell on their swords and took him home. (time ~1.30am)

6) After repairing to another watering hole there was ‘more drink taken’.

7) Can’t really remember getting home, but home we got – woke up with the Captain on Saturday both still fully clothed.

8) Final bill (inc service): £1,125.90. Not bad going for 12 people, but I really, really wish I hadn’t ballsed up divvying it up. Am feeling extremely poor now.

So after that rather tame start to the festivities we rolled out yet again on Saturday for more.