I’m up and down today because I’ve had a shit week. Well as shit as a week can be that requires every second doing one of the the folowing:-

1) Leaping to answer the phone expecting it to be an agent, but it’s just one of my useless friends having a nervous meltdown on me.

2) Sleeping

3) Watching shite TV (with the exception of The Learning Zone)

4) Playing video games.

I love my X-Box. Although I hare MS and all their works – the corporation that has done more to inhibit real intelligence growth within software – within their (albeit self referentail scope) the X-Box does kick the ass to hell out of the PS-2. I’m not familiar with Nintendo’s Boxy thing, which I’m sure is cool, but the X-Box does truly give it up in terms of frame rendering and distance integration. No where else can you target something literally on the horizon, blow the shit out of it and have fully integrated physics and AI in real time. I sound like a real spod.

But anyway – there you go. Fanboy returns. In 2 hours I have to go out and pretend to be a real human being and I’m pissed. And have no intention of stopping drinking in the meantime eitherl. Haven’t eaten anything since Tuesday but so the fuck what. Actually that’s a lie. I’ve eaten 2 muffins and 2 scones. With clotted cream and jam. Nice. Meantime, I’ve had the best dreams. I was with The Captain in great burger bar in NYC and he showed me how to get the cheese, which you had to apply for after they gave it to you, then I told a story to some kids a la Ronald McDonald and then I ran through the streets, except it was suddenty medievel London and I couldn’t get to work because American tourists kept braiding my jumper and then demanding that they pay for the damage . . . dreams huh?

All of this is leading to something, but I just don’t know where exaclty yet . . . something is brewing in the Pan brain, but it has yet to take proper form. I’ve been thinking of my childhood – Manchester, The Pampas, Dark looming heather mountains, the first girl I ever had a crush on. I can’t even remember her name but I can remember her face perfectly. I guess I was about 8 or so. I know she left, and then, and then, and then . . .

I’m using someone else’s computer right now. No one we know. And I’m going through his mp3 collection as I write. Some good stuff, but WTF did he download Dogtanen and The Three Muskehounds themesong???