Well I’ve been cleaning and tidying for 3 hours since my last blog and I’m not sure if I’m making progress or not. I think I’ve woken a monster – something mortal man was not meant to meddle with.

What I’ve definitely woken was 22 pieces of elderly washing up. After they’d had a bit of a pre-soak in the tub I gave them a good clean and they’ve all (bar one) now been transferred to the kitchen to be washed all over again. The one that hasn’t made it yet had gone . . . wrong. If I had any sense at all I’d just chuck it away but I really want to think that no-one goes down – not on my watch. At the moment it’s being treated with neat Flash which shows no sign so far of removing the stubborn remaining patch. I managed to get most of it off with a razor blade but the final bit defeated me plus it smelt BAD. Put it this way I wrapped everything in 2 plastic bags, then a bin bag and have put that outside the flat. I can still smell it. I can smell it through an inch of Flash. It’s probably just paranoia now, but trust me – it was not good.

I wonder what my flatmates would think if they knew I’d been using the bath for diseased washing up . . . probably be very pragmatic about it. Anyway I’ve cleaned the bath as well (thank you Mr Muscle) which is the first time since I last did it anyway, so you can imagine that it needed it. Am going to have some lunch now – I think the only thing that could possibly suffice is a beer and a fag. YES!